Tea + cold pizza moments

Hi people, yep it’s been awhile, my thoughts have been with thinking about writing blog posts… however I just haven’t fully wholeheartedly felt like it, so that’s my truth. I’ve wanted to but even within that if I wanted to, wouldn’t I have just done it?! regardless, I’m here now, I felt like it so I followed to urge. Sometimes it’s just like that.

I’m currently still in Ontario… finding it’s more fun when you just embrace where your are rather than sit in the pool of your own self created suffering. It’s been good…. not running to the next thing or feeling the need to run but you actually cannot and then sitting with those feels and letting the wisdom come through, it’s really when I sit …through the resistance felt that these little gems come along, the pockets of space in the pauses +I’m digging it. No temper tantrum ( ok on occasions sometimes lol) but being a witness in your own space is something I have to say may not of been experienced as much if I wasn’t where I am right here, right now. I don’t have it all figured out, and when I have a “YES” that’s it moment, I don’t attach to it, especially when it has to do with the topic of where am I going to live next. This one was a tough one to let go of, being my nomadic self, it’s been in the staying that’s helped me connect more to what being nomadic is, it’s essence. The ability to sit in the same place and feel even more freedom than I did before, is pretty amazing, a feeling I savor in the moments that it pops in to remind me who I am without anything else telling me who that is… i think we find out who we are through experiences and living in our being, reactions, actions etc. There is only a few people that I can sit and talk to about this that can understand and has gone through it themselves, and I hold that close to my heart. I’m finding I have a lower tolerance of what I can take in these days, this year and last…. I feel like when we give ourselves space, that muscle can be developed and we attune our senses to match that. This past year I was super grateful to have that space in a gorgeous remote location, it gave me time to connect to the land, trees and animals, to listen, to hear…. I know it may sound lala but I really don’t care! When I landed back in Ontario it was definitely an adjustment that I felt like I was almost mourning the land I was on ( the Nuxalk Nation Territory) it took awhile to readjust myself, but I find that wherever I go or come from. Mexico was the same, I cried alot when I returned!! It’s a really gift when you can sit and connect with the land and hear what’s being said. I’ll probably cry when I leave here too lol. I’m really good at letting emotions go, no holds because let’s be real for a sec, who actually wants to hold that in their body?! - I know I don’t.

So now fast forward to my present moment of taking a break, sipping my now cold tea + cold gf pizza listening to some trip-hop & downtempo and about to get back to working on my business foundation ( I started working with a creative coach in January a 6 month program I committed to) it’s been such a good process and so glad I said yes to. Even though I was scared as hell, I trusted her and I trusted myself that I could do this + that it was the next right action that I needed. There’s no weakness in asking for help and seeking out, hell that’s how we find our strengths and our resiliency. A tree finds it’s support in the land and roots but its resiliency is practiced through it’s ability to withstand the snow on it’s branches. ( some wisdom shared from the pine trees. )

May you find what strengthens you and explore that deeply…. till next time!

….and if you need a sound track to that, here you go,

https://youtu.be/gHSN4DmjPas

Image is from Unsplash - Shaian Ramesht